The Catalina championships have come and gone, and before I
even knew it was happening, suddenly the sun has set on the OC6 racing season.
To be honest, I have been fantasizing about this for months - trying to
remember what an open schedule felt like, wondering what my other friends were
doing on the weekend without me. Every
weekend I thought about how good it would be to sleep in on Saturday mornings
again…
But now that the off season is here, I’m totally miserable. I’ve been told this is quite normal
“withdrawal” that follows any long cycle of extreme endorphins. But I have a lot of weird symptoms…
Loss of Identity
Who am I without paddling? How did I fill my time in the past? I am a stranger in my own home every weekend
as I try to remember the other activities that brought me joy. I get restless when I watch movies for too
long now. My tolerance for mundane
“Netflix and Chill” weekends has dropped significantly. I tried going for a jog around the
neighborhood, but it’s simply not the same.
My cat eyes me suspiciously for being home so often. My phone isn’t blowing up with pictures being
posted online or texts from teammates looking for a carpool.
Do I even have friends
My Wallet is Full
Between the travel expenses, the
t-shirt booths and the mountains of food I would consume during the season, my
budget got used to being stretched to the very limit. Now my wallet is full of money. I started shopping for an OC1 online today. That should fix this.
I am getting WORK done at WORK
Though I enjoy my job well enough, half of
my brain was always preoccupied with a checklist of weekend logistics. What to pack, where to be, race strategies,
wondering who would be in my crew this week.
Now what is there to day dream about?
May as well drown my sorrow in the distraction of work – I got a
compliment the other day on how productive I’ve been. I may even be able to start accruing vacation
soon…
Sleeping in on the weekends is hard
At 7 AM my eyes snap open in a panic. Am I late? Did I not set my alarm
correctly? And then I remember that I am
not obligated to do anything at all. I
relax and snuggle back into my pillow, but deep in the back of my sleepy brain,
some sadistic part of me is a little sad.
Spending time with Significant other /
friends/ family
The “black hole” from which I suddenly
emerged has left me confused. I have all
this time to spend with friends and family, but do these people even know who I
am? They don’t understand what I have been through, even the ones who really
try to get it. Suddenly my inside jokes
are not so funny anymore, and I was finally asked to stop describing my “paddle
butt” at the dinner table.
Watching paddling videos online obsessively
My online activity log is chalked full of
“LIKE” actions on any and every season picture I can find. Old, new – it doesn’t matter. I’ve been researching dated YouTube videos
and watching the continuing action in Hawaii with a romantic sigh of longing. There is an entire paddling family out there
in the world, waiting for me to go and join them. I don’t know if I’m ready for that… so in the
meantime I’ll just watch them virtually and stalk them in the creepy hours of
the evening. And on my lunch break.
The Hunger
The hunger is fading, but I feel the need
to feed anyway. My stomach thinks it is
still fueling for time trials and racing, but my tight jeans remind me that
these are calories I haven’t earned...
Where did these clothes come from?
Not long ago, I couldn’t find a clean pair of
paddling pants to save my life. I felt
like I was doing laundry constantly just so I wouldn’t have to wear anything
moldy to practice. Having too many
t-shirts was an impossible thought - but now that all the laundry is done,
clean and either put away neatly or heaped strategically around my room, I’ve
had to go out twice to purchase more hangars.
A new dresser might be needed as well, just for the new paddling clothes
and equipment.
POSSIBLE REMEDIES
· Denial
The denial strategy worked for a week or so while I rested
the sore muscles, and while I could simply pretended it wasn’t over yet. Instead I keep telling myself that any minute
I am going to be heading back out to the water.
·
HEAL
The scars and bruises on my body are beginning to fade, at
long last. I finally got a chance to
sign up for regular yoga and got a massage.
The therapist asked me with alarm what sport I could possibly do that
makes my shoulders so tight. I guess the body could use a little love…
·
Organizing a Paddler Dinner
I miss all the stories and loud voices. I want to know what everyone else is doing
with their new found free time. Maybe
they will want to get back on the water in a couple weeks?
·
Revisiting my Reading List
Everyone kept quoting “Boys in the Boat” all summer so I
finally picked up a copy at the book store.
I cried, I sighed, I had to put it down a few times and let the memories
of the crew sink in.
·
Setting Goals for Next Season
Before I started paddling I couldn’t do a pull-up. Now that the season is over, I still
can’t. But now I have all winter to get
better, stronger, faster … all those things that will make next year even more
amazing.
·
Winter Paddling?
I could not help but start researching other races in the
winter. From the Monterey Bay Crossing
to the Molokai Hoe – there is a great big world of year round adventure to be
explored! My SUP buddies keep pestering
me to give my solo career a go, maybe that’s just what I need.
My friends and family may not really get it, but at least
they listen to me every once in a while.
And who knows … maybe next year I’ll get a couple more of them to pick
up a paddle and come out with me to be adopted into the crazy paddling family.
